Selfishness

"You are so spoiled" My aunt commented

that line actually made me really think about my selfishness. Its true I call myself and know that I am selfish, but I never thought deeply about it.

Ive noticed in myself, and in other people who Ive known, have different kind of selfishness. First is the 'Princess' Selfishness, its the inconsiderate and only cares about people who is worthy of their attention(even towards their families), and doesn't tell the truth about a person to their face but does tell someone else even though the person could understand.

Secondly is the 'Its fine if the bad doesn't happen to me or who I know' Selfishness, this person doesn't regret of they caused harm and misery on someone else when it doesn't effect the persons family and friends or anyone they have knowledge with, this person leans towards Business since it fits their nature.

Last but not least is me, I tend to deny that I'm selfish even though I truly admit that I am, I usually am selfish in pleasing others than my own pleasure, and I put their happiness in front of mine even if I had to stay overnight with them and etc. And when I decide to put my own happiness in top of theirs, I become really selfish and regret it deeply in the night before drifting into sleep.

So what do you think is my type of selfishness? and what types have you encountered with?

Im such a brainless IDIOT T-T

Seriously, how could I have done such a thing D: Im so dissapointed in myself :(

what happend:
Okay, we were in Dubai yesterday, and I was filling out 200 coupons for the draw after 2 weeks in eid holiday. So when I was filling it on my own and my family were in a store nearby, a crazy idea just popped into my head! "Why dont I write his name and number, and if this coupon won, it might prove that I do love him and I wont be confused anymore!"

Being me I did it, and never thought of the consequences >__>

When I got home, I started thinking, "if he really did get the prize, wow it would be amazing-" and it finally hit me! how can he get his prize(if he won) if he doesn't have the other half of the coupon which is IMPORTANT!!!! I went OMG and WTH and went all curses to my stupid brain)

And when I tried to calm myself, I concluded my choices(if he did win, which I hope he doesn't!):

1. To never tell a soul about this, and just keep on with life(but I'm afraid they will show him the coupon in the draw, and he'll recognize my horrible handwriting!!)
   
2. Tell mom i wanted to repay him for his good deeds and she would give him the coupon(which he did a lot, hes a good person :) ) but mom would definitely figure out whats going on in my head
3. I don't know what else to do D: (and actually giving him the other side of the coupon is suicide, because then he'd know I feel the same way!! and I don't want him to EVER know about it!!)

I cant type anything else than this D=

PS: I'm deleting some of my personal pictures, because before yesterday, I actually found a blog that belongs to my cousins neighbors which me and my cousin hate! (and yup we are using it again her :p shes evil!!)(ain't it creepy how you can find people you know here! :S )

!Random Alert!

So I have been pretty bored lately, even though I should be partying since my exams ended yesterday (hooray!)

Yesterday was the day of the 'Twilight Movie'!! I cant wait to see it!! and it sucks that it wont be here in this month!! its going to arrive at the UAE cinemas in the 4th of Dec (which is a day after my birthday) but I cant convince my mom to take me to the movies because that week and the one after it will be hectic because of the preparations for the holiday, my cousins wedding, and my moms assignment(which my part is typing and not really making the whole thing). That means Twilight will be out of town until the hectic days are over :(

But I'll watch it online anyways ;D (if it was available :( if anyone has good links for online movies ... PLEASE SHARE! T_T )

So until my next post, knock yourself out with these pictures XD (but no stealing [wait! its not even worth stealing :S ] anyways don't!)

My fav snacks:

This heel Ive never gotten a chance to wear, I don't know why :(

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Mom's flowers

Remember the incident click here. this is where it happened. (I know taking pictures of this is pretty much lame but I don't care XP )(and to whom guessed which school this is, please keep it to yourselves lol)

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Memories...

This is something I wrote a year ago, it just popped in my head and I just had to write it down :)

And sorry I used to have a bad grammar back then(still have some until now LOL)

Enjoy!

....

Did you have memory that stayed through your head a long while?

If it was a memory of the first time you realized that you’ve gotten taller by an inch in the morning

Or if it was the memory of imagining the life and world of the people in the cars passing by in traffic, and how much affection and care did they have or gave to the passenger

Was there a memory of a loved one cry in your presence that affected you deeply that you might even remember it on the hospital bed with the doctor beating his fist on you’re the left side of your chest

Sometimes, people save these memories in their mind, even if it wasn’t special, but was a small connections or an encounter with a stranger

Would it be the memory of the early mornings in the school bus waving back to the kids in the other car?

Or when exchanging a smile with a waitress in a diner?

Normal people would say that’s just foolish to remember any single detail of a passing stranger, but who are they to define normal if they do the same thing as every human does

Some memories unwarily leaves, with no alert or a sign of it, just walk out of the door leaving chunks or bits

People wonder how they could possibly forget the date of their first greetings with their first love in their lifetime

People also wonder how they would forget the pictures of their old friends in an old floppy disk

They also wonder how couldn’t they realize that their children has matured a lot that they already got a job at an office and sometimes came back home drunk or drugged

If it was possible, if you can collect all the memories from everyone around the world

Think … how a heart would understand countless experiences of hardship or happiness that large and big crates couldn’t hold

Think … of the people that created those memories, how they felt, how they lived it, and how it possessed them for a few seconds of a minute while laying down on their bed before falling in a deep sleep

Keep a memo to yourself how wonderful a memory means, how emotions it carries and how it just attracts a simple attention from you

....

Whats your style?

I'm pretty much the white T shirt and blue jeans style :D

I rarely complicate my wardrobe, so its always as simplest as it could ever be LOL I called my style "The Laid Back Style"

And my sisters style is "Funky Style" because she likes the odd and cute stuff LOL

Whats yours??

I had the most romantic dream ever

It started of as usual, me with my family, but we were living in a city that had the same streets of London but the buildings looked like the buildings in Venice. And every time me, my mom and my sisters use the car to go somewhere, a person in a black suit with a black mask glides in front of me when I step out of the back seat. Nobody noticed him besides me as he laid down a book on the seat I have just got up from, and he glides away to leave so fast and no one noticed that either!

So I picked the book and closed the door, its name was the "Fairies' Landing" (which is a manwha I was planning to read next week) but it had the cover of "The Daughter of the Forest" by Juliet Marillier (Its a book I'm also planning to get to read it, I got interested in it by the review Annie posted in her blog). And in this dream, it was my favorite book! and I read it a million times!

From my confusion, i just shoved it in my bag, so when the same guy showed up again when I was getting out of the car in an other day, he left the same book and went away unnoticed by anyone but me. This time I opened the first page and found nothing, I flipped to the other pages until I found a scribbling in the bottom part of the page in the half of the book(Which is my favorite spot in any book! even my school books! don't ask why)

This is how it was written:(because I cannot remember what was written, I only remember how it looked like)(the * and _ means words written)

***:___
***:___
***:
***:
***:
***:

I couldn't understand what it meant! it didn't make sense until the 4th book arrived, it was the only scribbling that had its title added, it was "1st Conversation"

Then I started to understand what was written, it meant (Place, Time, Date, How etc.) and I immediately recognized who it was! it was HIM! it was the same date, time, place we had our first talk together!

And at that time I forgot everything else, even the reason that I cannot be with him of! All I wanted at that moment is just to be with him, in his hands, his eyes in mine never leaving it, his hand in my hair moving so slowly.

The dream ended when I turned around the corner of the street, and spotted him leaning on the wall waiting for me, then everything turned black and I woke up.

It was the most romantic thing I could ever dream of, I cannot even think of anything better than that. God I'm so desperate for him XP

I'm so mad at Goerge Sampson!

Let me give ya a short introduction to George Sampson

• Hes the cutest dancer ever!
• Hes only 14(or 15 idr)!!
• Hes the winner of Britain's Got Talent 2008!!!
• And he dances SO good!!!!

Ill tell you why am I mad but you have to watch these first:







That's his adorable little cousin dancing with him!

To the reason why I'm mad:


Now if you compared it with the other videos, you can see the large difference!! WTH!! where is the Phenomenon dance we saw in the previous videos!! What went wrong?? Is he stressed? Tired? what??!?@!? :(

Unrelated:

this kid made me cry :( and sniffle and sneeze >.<


This man too:



I happened to find this audition too:



Surprised?

I'm growing old :O

I have been depressed, always annoyed, sleeping a LOT, cant watch TV anymore, cursing a lot(The F and B words :S which is always a no-no for me), increased forgetting, always frowning and thinking. So in the end, I concluded that I'm growing old :S

I sometimes act like I'm older than my age, and sometimes I act younger than my age. I look older than my age, but some people say I look 13(I think those people eyes look like this @@)

Why is life so SLOW and depressing and confusing?? :( but its still funny in many ways ^^

OMG I just cheered up in a second ... seriously!! it happened when I typed funny LOL I'm gonna make this my magic word =D

PS: Excuse me for my randomness :P

I have found this amazing site about old women cartoon. click here

Istanbul Pictures!

Since what happened to me is taking all over my mind, I'm going to take my mind of it and concentrate on something else. So here is some pictures I took :

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The first picture I took, this was in Dubai Airport.

This is one of the hotel guests dog, he looks so adorable!

A group of cats hang around in front of the museum, all are napping in the sunshine.

Flowers in Turkey have the most amazing shades of orange.

A lovely flower we picked from the hotel lobby.

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The most comfortable boots I ever got! The inside material is very soft!

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Since the shop had everything amazing, I bought every single item and gift from there! These tops are my top favorite.

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I fell in Love with this top!

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Isn't it cute?

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This looks amazing when worn.

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Since I don't understand Turkish Language, I only watched Disney Channel on TV.

Being away from the country does not mean I shouldn't study.

I absolutely LOVE this show! Its Hilarious!

I hate Lilo and Stitch, they are always bichy and whiny.

In front of the hotel I was staying in.

The small park in front of the hotel. (full of bugs EW!)

I took these pictures when I decided to act like a typical tourist, by that I mean constantly taking pictures of the roads in the cab.

This is the huge stadium near to the hotel. (They say you can hear the loud cheers from the hotel)

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This is the beginning of my long row of Winning Solitare.

The 2nd time.

The 3rd time.

The 4th time.

The 5th time.

The 6th time.

The 7nth time.

And that is it!