Again, Him.

I was next to family in this huge van pulled over at a street. A huge truck next to us, fulled with gifts of wood, yes wood, long rectangle woods that when put together will make a nice house, my gifts also were wood but only one tiny gift was a different gift that I knew HE would have loved.

My dad was on the phone with him, as he told him to hurry up and he was sorry. My dad was apologizing for me, with me just wishing he would agree and hurry up here. And he did, he drove in towards us and got out of his cruiser. As my dad talked to him and pointing to the huge truck of gifts were for him, I couldn't stop giggling from the sight of my angry fiance, just looking adorably cute as he was surprised by the gifts and the presence of all of my family in the van, including my grinning face.

He was blown away, and looked very happy as we approached him, his eyes only on me as he thanked my parents while I was being nudged by every passing cousin.

I suddenly opened my eyes, and closed it again. An incredible urge was fighting in my hand to pick up the phone and dial his number and hang up when I hear his voice. and then I unconsciously schemed a plan for this, as I was planning on using my sister phone to do this since he wont be able to recognize it.

I just sat on my bed, thinking 'What?!?'

I couldn't understand, why was I dreaming of HIM again, I pretty much thought I was over him, wasn't I? Why am I scheming such a thing?

Why? Is it because I miss him? Is that it? It's true the last time I saw him was half a year ago, but why? why would I miss him? I couldn't analyze anything, but I felt dead tired, thinking and thinking about this dream but my frustrations made me forgot the part when I approached him and I was leaded to another scene. Yes there was more to the dream I mentioned that I couldn't remember.

Just why is my vacation beginning in this way? =I URGH Im so frustrated!

Ill just go and watch a Disney movie >.>

Faithful + Eggs??

Again with me and my habits, its so 'habity' :I and I'm sick of it

This special habit of mine is about faith, I cant have faith but towards 3 which is my God, my Family, and one empty slot which is filled now by my study(used to be blogging lol).

By faith I do not mean cheating or lying on, I mean my effort I put for them(no need to google, Im going to explain in a second now).

I know I keep making excuses for not blogging, but lately I realized more how much of a habitat I have become to. It's weird, I always thought I had control over everything, but in a minute or two all my determinations change >.>

I'm not done yet, my next problem is EGGS!

Lately I have been trying some diets that does not include eggs which I really dislike, really. But there is no result at all! so I have decided to overcome this and try to adjust to eating eggs for at least two times a week in this one week diet I found.

My question is if I can add anything to with egg meal so the taste of the eggs will be so low(any kind of bread is not included), I'm thinking ketchup!!! :p YUM

I'll be brave, and come back XD

To summarize this as small as possible:

Reason(s) why I'm back: I missed blogging(more like OBSESSING)

Reason(s) I left: So my mom started to take an interest in blogging, she have been going from a blog to the next one NONSTOP, she liked some but she hated some, of course I would at least have some sense to think 'Pfft its one in a million chance for her to find my blog from clicking --->Next Blog repeatedly" Well, guess what happened next, she thought that there is no way only foreign blogs exist ... so she googled "Arabic Blogs" ... And there I panicked O_O and quickly switched my blog in anyway so it wont be read by anyone other than myself :S Oh yeah, she got bored of it now, so I guess I can come back, unless ... NAH!

Reason(s) why I acted like a coward: Hmm this is something I was thinking of before I went officially on hiatus. Why was I so scared and worried if she had read what I was writing? I think its because its embarrassing showing such thoughts to some one who Ive lived and loved my whole life(FYI that doesn't mean I don't care about you folks, but we are all Anonymous to each other after all lol).

Occasion(s) occurred while away: 1- I got accepted to UAEU!!
2- I'm not so happy leaving my free days + I have to act and be an adult ARGH I dont want that ... But I would like a driving license.
3- But I'm hopeful anyways :).
the unnecessary number 4- there's a new mall in Al Ain O_____O wow huge deal, means the lots-lots-lots-lots-lots-of-crowds in the only 2 malls here will be cut in half, which I think is better for people who hang in one of these malls daily(and I literally mean that, you see their faces there everyday from morning till night!!)

That's it, that's how boring -and somehow funny- my life is ... I'm glad to be back >w<

Help?

Is the 'The Simpsons" appropriate for kids from 10 to above??

it is a hilarious show, it really is, I started watching it from the time i discovered it. And now my 11 years old sister(plus my 10 year old brother) are watching it daily on FOX. the people I know prefer 'Family Guy' over 'The Simpsons' because it is less kid-appropriate and have hilarious jokes(the 18+ jokes), is it true?

A bliss?

Just thought I should share something I learned =D

Few nights ago, out of nowhere I remembered a memory, it was probably 2 or 3 years ago when it happened.

I was running late and they kept rushing me, and then someone said, "Come on! Anyways, you wont make any difference if you were there or not" I didn't understand in the first few seconds (because in that age I was so naive) it took me minutes to realize what that meant, it was actually the silence of everyone else that helped me realize it. I didn't know how to react, it was just really painful and numb when I moved to grab my scarf and phone, I couldn't even shed a single silent tear so I would show them how that have really hurt and affected me, I never wanted to show them my weak side, I couldn't.

When that line "you don't make a difference if you were there or not" repeated in my head, it stabbed me through me from my heart. it made me cry, so hard, I couldn't even remember how I cried that night when I was sure everyone was asleep, I couldn't remember how I actually faced them again, I couldn't remember how I avoided their pitiful stares at me as if they understood me. and then I asked myself this "There was no obvious reason for me to remember this now, then why am I remembering this now? Why am I still crying over it? Why is it that it hurts me now even though it did before? is it because I'm still such a bore? Why did I completely forget about it? Just like other worse, sad, and embarrassing situations"

"Ignorance is a bliss", "to be able to forget is a bliss", that's what everyone says, that's what I believed and followed blindly. But when you realize it that day, it is a real pain, I should say a much worse pain.

Remember. It is a bliss, just until that moment :)

!PS: Few months ago, that same person said 'Don't ever think of traveling again, the house is a mess without you' Weird how I forgot that too, it could have stopped my hour long crying humph =I (even though I didn't understand it much, its not I'm the one cleaning the house or something XP)

"10 Honest Things" part2

alright, continuing(damn its getting harder for me to remember any)

6- I would cheer at the team that the person next to me cheers for, first reason is to avoid teasing when winning T-T, 2nd reason I like soccer but I have no preferred teams(which is good again to avoid teasing) FYI I'm cheering UAE's team because my mom would kill me with her glares if I did otherwise, and that means if I sided with dad I'M TOASTED(because he already got my little brother at his side).
Note to all Kuwait ppl: your team blew me away!!! much better than the last khaleegy! I was like this O_O seriously way to go Kuwait! good luck to all teams!!

7- I'm addicted to Tang(the drink), weird eh?? >_> I'm trying to get addicted to fresh orange juice instead(sipping it right now) but I STILL WANT TANG DX

8- Music I'm listening to depends on my mood (listening to now: Green Light - John Legend ft Andre 3000[Luv Andre 3000!]).

9- I Love Pirates! everyone who knows me knows this, my love was inspired from (of course who else) Captain Jack Sparrow aka- Johnny Depp in The Pirates of the Caribbean (successfully dragged anyone within my reach when showing in theaters XD)

10- I'm a Cleaning Freak and a Mess Freak, depends on whats going on and how I feel, if I felt down I would clean my room until I reach my sisters then my brothers and the cycle goes on, and when I feel good I (with no guilt feelings) mess insensibly and would clean it up when I return to feeling down.

That is it! I dont think Im tagging anyone, because the game has started already and I gotta watch, cya!

"10 honest things" I might lie about

Errant's 10 honest things post I was tagged :D

here it goes:

1- I lie, and I lie about that too!(how horrible of me :( ) I got used to this for many reasons, I only used it at first to get out of trouble. But soon followed the lies to protect me from bigger problems, and I never learned my lesson until I was going to learn how to lie horribly, and that was lying to myself.

2- I have a huge guilt on everything :( for example: I feel guilty when I don't have enough change for the cashier when they look enough troubled, I feel guilty when I cant calm down a lady's crying child when shes busy shopping because she might get offended, I feel guilty when I forgot to mention a thought about something when I just hang up the phone with the person I was going to share the thought with because I would trouble them again with a 2nd call. I dont mention this to my friends, becuase then they may act warily about their actions so I wont feel guilty with their presense.

3- I giggle non-stop when I lie down on a tided bed, I know UNRELATED but I thought I should add this since Im writing long :S not alot of things coming up to mind LOL. oh yeah, I feel really excited when I sleep on a tidy bed, you cant imagine how embarasing it feels when you are sleeping in a hotel room with thin walls(I cant always hold the giggles >.< )

4- I don't keep up with weekdays, I seriously forget what day we are in today.(I even had to check now so I would now when mobraiat 7halejy is going to start[today BTW]) I know the points are getting lamer by time, but don't blame me for you wasting your time reading this :(

5- I'm not trust able, not in the cheating and stabbing in the back way, but in the "sorry I forgot what you have told me, what was it you told me to bring? ... IMPORTANT documents?? I'm so so so sorry!!" I guess that explained it enough :S

Alright ...... I'm tired and need to sleep. So sorry to have disappointed you, today's 10 honest things have been cut to half!!! (10/2 honest things) I shall post the other 5 and who I tagged laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

... kind of awkward when I just admitted that I lie :S

A toast (with an non-alcoholic drink) to randomness and no to cheesiness ;)

Funny.

Its funny when you think a subject will go just fine, and we will just laugh about it, but it turns to an unexpected way. Perhaps to an awkward way, or an angry situation, maybe only frustration will be felt, or simply weird.

Funny, is a word used for something that brings joy to a person, makes them laugh or giggle, but it can also be used as the other word of weird, how odd it is, how strange and unusual a thing is.

Funny, is how I feel now, I cant even describe it, its simply a funny feeling from many reasons, and the flu is definitely none of them.

Funny, how I cant understand why these reasons are affecting me this much.

Funny is also how this can be one of my darkest posts ever XD

I-want-it!!

Ive been begging mom to take me to the Library, I'm in love in a specific book, I cant even bear reading anything beside it!!(I still wish I could finish the book I have in hand first, but I want it!)

But there are few problems other than my mom not taking me there, I'm broke because Ive spend all my allowance weeks ago! and i don't even remember what did I spend it on but who cares! I'm planning to surprise my mom with that fact when we are already there so she would have no option but to give me(she knows I would drag her there again if I didn't get what I want) but there is 50% chances that she might not care and take me back home so she would teach me a lesson :S

If you are into fantasy fiction novels, I recommend(even though I haven't read or own it yet!) the book is Daughter of The Forest by Juliet Marillier, the book 1 in the series of The (Sevenwater Trilogy). I got interested in it by Annie's review about it, and also again when it appeared in one of my most romantic dream. I would also like to note its one of the recommend books for people who loved Harry Potter, Twilight etc.. :)

I'm thinking to also get IT by Stephen King, and The Host by Stephanie Meyer.

EDIT::
My mother finally allowed me to and is taking me tommorow! and is also giving me the money I need! Isn't she best mom ever???

Diagnose me!

Alright, I need some help, well a diagnose actually

My symptoms:

1. 24 hours have passed with me being a tears machine, maybe its the drama im watching online(which is awesome!! its name is 'Coffee Prince' a korean drama) but i kept crying every sad scene -including happy scenes!!- D:
2. Ive been thinking about myself, the things Ive done, the things I should have or shouldn't have done(Including past relationships, including HIM). its not like I never think about it but this time was different, I thought more seriously this time :O
3. I slept 3/4 of the day XO (of course after symptoms 1 & 2) and I still want to!!
4. I kept eating a lots of home made chocolate chip cookies >.<
5. My mood swings increased :(

Please doctor, fix me =D

Oh yeah, my sister woke me up and gave me a burger with fries(I was so sleepy, so I ate in bed XD ), and then she remembered that she had a weird dream of her feeding a fish a burger, and the fish was spilling some around. So when she told me that, I looked down to find out that I have been making a pond of crumbs :O does that mean im the fish she dreamt about??
(weird eh???)

In time of desperations, theres GOOGLE

by khavi in Deviant Art

I had a hard time sleeping yesterday, actually my naps and sleeping times are messed up right now, and I have no idea how to arrange it :S but I do know that the first step is getting a DAMN CLOCK, which I hate and I kicked it out of my room.

Ill return to my subject, I was so desperate for how to fall asleep, so I simply googled 'How to fall asleep?' it was such a stupid question but hey! it worked!!

http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-Asleep actually helped me, and I used the way 16. Practice Solitaire, I didn't even continue to read the other ways(I'm a solitaire addict) and it really help me sleep!! Yay me!

Im back...

I'm tired and sleepy and I shall post about the wedding later on ... but I got to say I'm happy for those two(the two who got married) I just felt that they are a couple even before it actually happened!! ... WEIRD I know(I was a kid that time BTW). they truly are the perfect love story in my mind, and I don't know why LOL

May all of you have your happy love story :)

and remember, these stories doesn't have to have a happy ending.

Happy- Happy- Happy Birthday!!!

I became 8

okay kidding, I became 18!!

NO! I'M AN ADULT NOW(SCREAMS like Macaulay Culkin)

(Isn't he adorable???)

And it already sucks, even though only 2 hours and a half have passed >.> but still :(

But who cares, the adult age is when I become 20, because that's when the -teen finishes(eighteen, nineteen) or start driving(which i doubt Ill be doing since i suck at pushing the supermarket cart, and walking in heels) or get a job :D

oh yeah, I almost forgot!

Happy National Day!!!!

All pictures from here

and one last thing!!

Ive been tagged for the first time YAY!!

TOPIC: pick a person ONE PERSON that we all know which is A BLOGGER THAT BLOGS!! IN BLOGGER OR WORD PRESS!! only one!! and describe that person and tell her/him some stuff that you like about them and if there are any negative points then say them too!! and write the name!!

It has to be Blasha because she got me addicted to gadgets!!! XD Shes such a cool person, she knows everything about Techno!! I think shes the person Im going to be copying these days XD not really just kidding! Well maybe :p
Tag: Blasha, Errant, Lopi, eshda3wa and nyxxies

Im such a brainless IDIOT T-T

Seriously, how could I have done such a thing D: Im so dissapointed in myself :(

what happend:
Okay, we were in Dubai yesterday, and I was filling out 200 coupons for the draw after 2 weeks in eid holiday. So when I was filling it on my own and my family were in a store nearby, a crazy idea just popped into my head! "Why dont I write his name and number, and if this coupon won, it might prove that I do love him and I wont be confused anymore!"

Being me I did it, and never thought of the consequences >__>

When I got home, I started thinking, "if he really did get the prize, wow it would be amazing-" and it finally hit me! how can he get his prize(if he won) if he doesn't have the other half of the coupon which is IMPORTANT!!!! I went OMG and WTH and went all curses to my stupid brain)

And when I tried to calm myself, I concluded my choices(if he did win, which I hope he doesn't!):

1. To never tell a soul about this, and just keep on with life(but I'm afraid they will show him the coupon in the draw, and he'll recognize my horrible handwriting!!)
   
2. Tell mom i wanted to repay him for his good deeds and she would give him the coupon(which he did a lot, hes a good person :) ) but mom would definitely figure out whats going on in my head
3. I don't know what else to do D: (and actually giving him the other side of the coupon is suicide, because then he'd know I feel the same way!! and I don't want him to EVER know about it!!)

I cant type anything else than this D=

PS: I'm deleting some of my personal pictures, because before yesterday, I actually found a blog that belongs to my cousins neighbors which me and my cousin hate! (and yup we are using it again her :p shes evil!!)(ain't it creepy how you can find people you know here! :S )

!Random Alert!

So I have been pretty bored lately, even though I should be partying since my exams ended yesterday (hooray!)

Yesterday was the day of the 'Twilight Movie'!! I cant wait to see it!! and it sucks that it wont be here in this month!! its going to arrive at the UAE cinemas in the 4th of Dec (which is a day after my birthday) but I cant convince my mom to take me to the movies because that week and the one after it will be hectic because of the preparations for the holiday, my cousins wedding, and my moms assignment(which my part is typing and not really making the whole thing). That means Twilight will be out of town until the hectic days are over :(

But I'll watch it online anyways ;D (if it was available :( if anyone has good links for online movies ... PLEASE SHARE! T_T )

So until my next post, knock yourself out with these pictures XD (but no stealing [wait! its not even worth stealing :S ] anyways don't!)

My fav snacks:

This heel Ive never gotten a chance to wear, I don't know why :(

(DELETED)

Mom's flowers

Remember the incident click here. this is where it happened. (I know taking pictures of this is pretty much lame but I don't care XP )(and to whom guessed which school this is, please keep it to yourselves lol)

(DELETED)

I had the most romantic dream ever

It started of as usual, me with my family, but we were living in a city that had the same streets of London but the buildings looked like the buildings in Venice. And every time me, my mom and my sisters use the car to go somewhere, a person in a black suit with a black mask glides in front of me when I step out of the back seat. Nobody noticed him besides me as he laid down a book on the seat I have just got up from, and he glides away to leave so fast and no one noticed that either!

So I picked the book and closed the door, its name was the "Fairies' Landing" (which is a manwha I was planning to read next week) but it had the cover of "The Daughter of the Forest" by Juliet Marillier (Its a book I'm also planning to get to read it, I got interested in it by the review Annie posted in her blog). And in this dream, it was my favorite book! and I read it a million times!

From my confusion, i just shoved it in my bag, so when the same guy showed up again when I was getting out of the car in an other day, he left the same book and went away unnoticed by anyone but me. This time I opened the first page and found nothing, I flipped to the other pages until I found a scribbling in the bottom part of the page in the half of the book(Which is my favorite spot in any book! even my school books! don't ask why)

This is how it was written:(because I cannot remember what was written, I only remember how it looked like)(the * and _ means words written)

***:___
***:___
***:
***:
***:
***:

I couldn't understand what it meant! it didn't make sense until the 4th book arrived, it was the only scribbling that had its title added, it was "1st Conversation"

Then I started to understand what was written, it meant (Place, Time, Date, How etc.) and I immediately recognized who it was! it was HIM! it was the same date, time, place we had our first talk together!

And at that time I forgot everything else, even the reason that I cannot be with him of! All I wanted at that moment is just to be with him, in his hands, his eyes in mine never leaving it, his hand in my hair moving so slowly.

The dream ended when I turned around the corner of the street, and spotted him leaning on the wall waiting for me, then everything turned black and I woke up.

It was the most romantic thing I could ever dream of, I cannot even think of anything better than that. God I'm so desperate for him XP

I'm growing old :O

I have been depressed, always annoyed, sleeping a LOT, cant watch TV anymore, cursing a lot(The F and B words :S which is always a no-no for me), increased forgetting, always frowning and thinking. So in the end, I concluded that I'm growing old :S

I sometimes act like I'm older than my age, and sometimes I act younger than my age. I look older than my age, but some people say I look 13(I think those people eyes look like this @@)

Why is life so SLOW and depressing and confusing?? :( but its still funny in many ways ^^

OMG I just cheered up in a second ... seriously!! it happened when I typed funny LOL I'm gonna make this my magic word =D

PS: Excuse me for my randomness :P

I have found this amazing site about old women cartoon. click here

Returned .. In a daze(which is not from Istanbul)

I'm back home with my cup of Nescafe in my hand and on my big black comfy bed. But even when I'm in my usual spot, I'm still in the daze that HE left me in the minute I saw him.

Yes, I saw HIM.

And I cant describe it, just seeing him standing in front of me, just few feet away, it made all my last-minute-mental-preparations-to-see-him drop out of the window! I couldn't speak more than one word, I couldn't look in his eyes, I bet my face was redder than when it got struck by Dubai heat which is my normal reaction when returning from a cold area, my knees turned to jelly, I was shivering a little and looked tense, and the most stupid of all I didn't know how to stand(Two choices were:1- to stand straightly like an officer 2- or stand like an old crumbled old lady because my knees were not supporting at all, and being me, I did a middle of both)

He looked amazing as ever, it was my first time seeing him in his traditional cloth(dishdasha). He was the same gentleman, him being there was the highlight of my trip.

I tried to act normal, but I was never normal, I didn't know what to do! and I kept cursing myself in the head for being such a slow walker(even though I was the first one to get to the gate, but seeing him have lost lots of energy from me, I looked like I was dragging my feet instead of walking) and he took advantage of that.

My wish came true, to just see a glimpse of him, but more to it happened. He told me something.

He told me that he was watching me walking from my school gate to the car every free week day he had since he has 2 work days only. and there was an incident that happened.

incident in my side:

It was the day my Uncle picks me up, and Uncle drives a white cruiser with black covered windows(which half of the school drive back home in). So when I went outside the gate I headed outside to find the car parked in front of the school, I walked and suddenly stood in front of the passenger window(I sit in the passenger seat on the front, next to the driver) then I realized it might not be his car because there was something I cant figure out was different. So I stood there doubting myself and trying to take a closer look inside(I couldn't remember my Uncle license plate number, so I didn't try to look at the plate), I noticed a person inside but the person wasn't moving at all. I stayed there for a 30 seconds, until I noticed a shifting inside, and I thought if the windows rolled down or the door opened it must be Uncle since that is what he usually does, but nothing happened. In that moment I realised it wasn't his car, I stood embarrassed for a second then went in an other direction which I noticed then that my uncle was parked few cars behind with his windows rolled down. I didn't think about this much, because I guessed it must be one of the 9Th grade guys just sitting in the driver seat for fun.

incident in his side:

He told me I gave him a scare by standing there in front of his window trying to look inside, and he locked the door so I wont open the door and discover its him(because there was no excuse since I know none of his relatives was studying here) and he had to change the license plate number so that I wont recognize him.

I ... I don't know what to say, I don't even know how to believe it was him there, or even believe that he was watching me walking from school to my car!(he even knew how many days Dad and Uncle picked me up from school!) I cant talk to anyone about it because I know they will think of me as a liar! was this what the weird situations were protecting me of, knowing he was seeing me while I wished he could at least appear in my dreams at least a second?

I still am in a daze, and I don't know how to get out of it.

Another weird thing happening.

Do you remember when I was saying how weird that every chance I might get to see him something really weird happens? well guess what, its happening AGAIN.

So firstly was the problem that my mom wants me to go and I don't want to, and then after 30 minutes I change my mind(and the sequence repeat). And when I do want to go- something happens, such as: my passport is ending in 2 months and airports don't allow that(they finished it in 2 days, so its fine now), an important meeting is in the day of the travel and this business trip was supposed to be canceled but returned again.

So what does this mean? Is this going to keep happening until I get on the plane, or will it end when I finally see him after all these months?!

This is SO confusing! :S

Anyways, CYA in a week :)

Airplane!

Yeah I'm going to Istanbul, it is decided(even though we already bought the ticket a while before).

I just hope I get to see HIM, he better come *evil eyes* that is pretty much the only thing I wish for in this trip, I do not want to see turkey or anything over there, I want to just have a glimpse of him .... please please please XD I dunno who I'm begging to but hey I mean it.

Sorry, that's just me acting desperate :( I miss him. But I think he is the only reason that I'm going to this trip, that just really makes me more desperate T_T

Signing off,
Lili3