Just thought I should share something I learned =D
Few nights ago, out of nowhere I remembered a memory, it was probably 2 or 3 years ago when it happened.
I was running late and they kept rushing me, and then someone said, "Come on! Anyways, you wont make any difference if you were there or not" I didn't understand in the first few seconds (because in that age I was so naive) it took me minutes to realize what that meant, it was actually the silence of everyone else that helped me realize it. I didn't know how to react, it was just really painful and numb when I moved to grab my scarf and phone, I couldn't even shed a single silent tear so I would show them how that have really hurt and affected me, I never wanted to show them my weak side, I couldn't.
When that line "you don't make a difference if you were there or not" repeated in my head, it stabbed me through me from my heart. it made me cry, so hard, I couldn't even remember how I cried that night when I was sure everyone was asleep, I couldn't remember how I actually faced them again, I couldn't remember how I avoided their pitiful stares at me as if they understood me. and then I asked myself this "There was no obvious reason for me to remember this now, then why am I remembering this now? Why am I still crying over it? Why is it that it hurts me now even though it did before? is it because I'm still such a bore? Why did I completely forget about it? Just like other worse, sad, and embarrassing situations"
"Ignorance is a bliss", "to be able to forget is a bliss", that's what everyone says, that's what I believed and followed blindly. But when you realize it that day, it is a real pain, I should say a much worse pain.
Remember. It is a bliss, just until that moment :)
!PS: Few months ago, that same person said 'Don't ever think of traveling again, the house is a mess without you' Weird how I forgot that too, it could have stopped my hour long crying humph =I (even though I didn't understand it much, its not I'm the one cleaning the house or something XP)